Aunts and Uncles

Two nights ago, Dad commented that he found it really bizarre that I refer to all these non-family people as "Auntie" and "Uncle," both in the blog and in real life.  I explained that as a mark of respect, I was raised to call people Auntie and Uncle when I was a child and they were adults.  This applied within the family, i.e., to older cousins who weren't technically our aunts or uncles.  And it applied to family friends, and the parents of my friends.  For example, my best friend's parents were "Auntie J" and "Uncle P."  Similarly, my friends would always call my parents "Auntie J" and "Uncle F."  [N.B. There would be real names involved, not just the letter.] 

Anyhow, so far I have been introducing our friends to X and referring to them as "Auntie/Uncle [insert name]."  And Dad finds this highly, highly strange.  This led to a discussion of how we were both raised to tackle this issue, and an examination of what our other friends with kids are doing.

We have friends who refer to adults by their official titles, i.e., "Say hello to Mr. and Mrs. Smith!"  "Say bye-bye, Mrs. Smith!"  To each his own, but that is far too formal for us. 

We have friends who refer to adults by a title, followed by first name, a la elementary school teacher, i.e., "Say hello to Miss Jane and Mr. John!"  "Say bye-bye, Miss Jane!"  To each his own, but that just won't come naturally to us at all.

And then we got around to my asking how Dad was raised.  As in, what did Dad call other adults when he was growing up?  And what did his friends call his parents when they came over to play?  And honestly, I don't think I picked my jaw up off the floor once.  He called adults by. their. first. names.  And his friends would call his parents by. their. first. names.  As in, he would go over to someone's house for a play date, and then say something like, "Ellen, could I have a snack?"  or "Hi Monica.  I'm playing with trucks now."  TO THE OTHER KID'S PARENTS.  Okay, okay, I'm trying to stay calm.  But even typing it gets me worked up.  I didn't think I was so firmly...committed...to the way I was raised.  But I simply cannot raise my child to call another adult by his/her first name.  I can't.  Call me stuffy or un-American.  But it's just not going to happen! 

Which brought me to wondering, what will happen when other kids come over here, walk into my kitchen and say something like, "A___, can I have a cracker?"  How will I resist the urge to slap them senseless for what I perceive as a lack of respect?  Well.  That's going to be a challenge.  I think in the early stages, I may visibly cringe.  But I will take deep breaths and remind myself that culture is culture, and some people do things differently.  They're not calling me A____ to be rude -- they're calling me that because American kids apparently do that sometimes.  And that's oh. kay.  I'm not going to force other kids to call me something that's weird for them just because it feels right to me.

So the flip-side, of course, is whether X is going to make other parents feel weird when he calls them Aunt/Uncle so-and-so.  I mean, I don't know.  Is it all that weird?  Won't there already be a mix of other practices out there anyway, between the Miss This, the Mrs. That, and the first-name basis? 

The amusing thing is that Dad and I hit a complete impasse on this one.  He thinks it is TOTALLY weird to call people who are not related to you Aunt and Uncle, and I think it is BEYOND ludicrous to let a child call adults by their first names.

Stay tuned for the exciting conclusion, which may involve some sort of compromise like having our child call people "Lord Protector John" and "Queen Jane," thus enabling him to use both the first name and a non-familial term to convey respect for one's elders.

Before I go, photos from last night's applesaucery.  Smiles notwithstanding, he distinctly preferred the avocado.