- Why do all the Pampers packages have such WEIRD unattractive babies on them? They almost look computer-generated. And they also look more comatose than asleep. (Apologies if those babies belong to any of you).
- Which anorexic model babies does Gerber use to determine its sizing charts? X has been wearing 3-6 month Gerber onesies since birth. And he is a perfectly average length and weight.
- Why does the Aveeno Mommy & Me gift set have giant bottles of product for the baby and that TINY bottle of calming body wash for Mommy? Mommy needs MORE CALMING BODY WASH. Clearly.
- Why does the Babies R Us in Falls Church never have the blue or green two-pack Soothies? I am gender-normative and I refuse to buy the pink and purple ones.
- Why do nursing pads come individually wrapped? It wastes so much plastic packaging. Are there many one-boobed women out there? (I know, I know, I can think of logical reasons for this too, but I confess that I thought of the Amazonian market first).
And the MOST important question of all:
- Why do cans of Enfamil* have a DUCK HATCHING OUT OF AN EGG on them? Let's just think about the fact that you're trying to market this to mammals.
So yes, I am engaging in deep and serious thoughts today.
X and I had a photo shoot to showcase the clothes his great-grandmother gave him one last time before he outgrows them. This is how Mama learned that she should stick to the law and leave newborn photography to the pros.
* This is my confession that I occasionally feed X formula fit for ducklings because even Mid-Level Mama needs a break sometime. Does La Leche League have an enforcement branch? If so, I shall simply await the appropriate sanctions.
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